Whew, we are coming up on a year of marriage on April 3rd. To say I am beyond excited is an understatement. But, for me with any milestone comes reflection. Our first year of marriage has been far from traditional. We “jumped the broom” in April, my husband graduated with his Masters in May, we moved a few states away in November, and started new jobs in December. We moved from the South to the North so we had to trade in our cozy two bedroom, two and a half bath town home for a one bedroom one bath high rise apartment.
With all that change, to say we’ve bond on new levels is an understatement. Along with the pressure of the changes came our first little arguments, make ups, exploration of a new city and the development of new norms. So what have I learned my first year of marriage?
We both grew up in God fearing households. I must admit we went through the “no church” phase. Our faith was there but we did a terrible job at attending service like we should. We did not pray regularly and now looking back you could tell. If you grew up in a religious family you would understand when I say, we got the “feeling” one day that we needed to go. Finally, we found a local church that we like attending at we were able to grow spiritually together. It was probably the area in our relationship that need the most improvement.
The day we learned how to sincerely pray for each other is the day we became stronger as a couple. I pray for my husbands safety, patience, and growth. We learned to thank God for the things we have and the path he is laying out for us. Our bond grew strong, our love reach new depths, and blessings started flowing.
We moved when my husband landed his dream. I’m a southern girl, always have been always will be. Moving me to the city was a compromise within itself. Along with moving out my comforter zone, the downsizing to an apartment was a compromise. I could not be the wife who told her husband no to his dream job. I had to compromise on where I wanted to live, start a family, and develop my career. To see him happy made it all worth it.
My husband lost his dad in 2012. It was one of the toughest times for him. Along with losing a parent, he had just graduated from college, started grad school, and we had just moved in together (whew, we all know how that goes). So, fast forward 3 years when it is time to getting married, then he landed a job in a field they were both so passionate. I miss my father in law for him. I wish he could see the growth he has made, the man he has become and the future he is building. Finally at the age of 26, I’ve learned the true definition of empathy
Have a plan or an outline of your long term goals and short term goals. We all know that life does not always go as planned but reminding yourself of the goals y’all have set, gives you something to work towards together. Saving for vacation, a home, the pay off student loans are all great examples. We are currently working towards the purchase of our first home and besides, what is life without goals?
Family & Friends
Our family has been an amazing support system. From checking on us, care packages, and keeping us encourage. We both come from very close families and they are the driving force behind our days where we cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. Although you are married and building a family of your own don’t forget about the foundation that taught you the definition of family. We were both blessed to come from two-parent households, this has allow us to mimic a lot of what we seen growing up.
My husband best friend and his fiance (Terrance and Melissa) has the same morals and values of a marriage that we have. This is heaven sent for a young couple trying defeat the odds. When frustrations hit and arguments go unsettled it’s nice to ping pong off of them. They have also moved from the North to the South so their experiences has help us transition and get acclimated to the area.
It’s great to have them but every girls needs a best friend. My life without Jade would not be the same. She is “my person”. When I am right or wrong, even if it’s good or bad I can always count on her to be 100% honest with me and by my side every step of the way. That’s extremely important . We don’t get to see each other often (2-3 times per year) but it doesn’t matter because we talk everyday via text messages, phone calls, Snap Chat, etc. Beyond grateful to have her!
Our anniversary plans has been booked, my parents are on their way up with the cake (and I thoughtfully picked red velvet for as our top layer) and the hunt for the perfect gift is still ongoing. The journey of marriage is unpredictable. Society claims that the first year of marriage is the hardest, but I have to disagree. Regardless of all the changes, we still came out on top against Year 1 so maybe Year 2 might give us a run for our money. I’ve fully accepted the challenges that comes with it but more importantly, I look forward to the memories we will make. I am blessed to have married my partner in crime, best friend and some pretty nice eye candy 🙂
Until Next Time,